26 Letters Aren't Enough to Say How Much I Love You
by holdonbaby
Summary: A collection of personal letters between Squad Levi and the 104th Trainees Squad. Written to the living and the lost. Friendship, romance, heartbreak; it's an SNK fanfic, after all.
1. An Exchange Between Jean and Armin

**A/N: I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin, unfortunately. Although, if I did, then I'd probably have a lot of walls to repair.**

* * *

_FROM JEAN, TO ARMIN_

Everyone is writing these weird letters today cause Sasha acted like we'll never see another pen in our lives if we don't write these damn things now. I still think it's a dumb idea but I'm kinda glad she thought it up.

I'm in a real hurry cause Levi is on a cleaning kick again and I gotta get out there and pull the weeds. I just want to say I really underestimated you. I thought you were a bitch and crybaby and I was so wrong. (maybe not quite about the first part…you do cry a lot).

I'm not great at writing and stuff, I just wanted to drop a line to you to let you know that you're not half bad. I've really enjoyed knowing you…

dammit I can't write anymore of this, what a damn sap fest…

See ya at dinner, Jean Kirstien

* * *

_FROM ARMIN, TO JEAN_

Jean! Thank you so much for your letter!

I've really enjoyed getting to know you too. I think we work amazingly well as a team together…you actually make it kind of fun to fight titans, believe it or not. And you're so good with maneuver gear.

I know, I am kind of a crybaby. I'm working on though, trying to get better so I can be strong for my friends.

Anyway, it's been an honor to work with you. You're a great guy.

Sincerely, Armin Arlert

* * *

_FROM JEAN, TO ARMIN_

Dumbass! You weren't supposed to read the letter now! It's for later when I'm dead or something, right? Geez, now I'm embarrassed. I have to look at that little shota face of yours and know that I said all that crap to you.

I mean, not that it's crap…it's true, it's just…..I didn't realize this is what Sasha meant…

-Jean Kirstien

* * *

_FROM ARMIN, TO JEAN_

What did you think the letters were for? It was a fun activity that she planned so we could all have mail to open at dinner. I think it's a pretty cool idea; it helps us bond!

Anyway, why did you sign yours 'see you at dinner' if you thought it was supposed to be read after your death?

Sincerely, Armin Arlert

* * *

_FROM JEAN, TO ARMIN_

Godammit Sasha. She always has something up her sleeve.

I don't know why I signed it that way….I didn't want to say something morbid like "i guess this is it" or "goodbye forever". Geez. What a load of crap.

Also, why do you always sign your letters with "sincerely"? We've pretty much shit our pants together while fighting titans, I think we can be considered friends especially after all this "I care about you" shit.

I'm trying not to laugh because I'm writing this at lunch next to Levi and he'll think I'm masturbating.

-Jean Kirstien

* * *

_FROM ARMIN, TO JEAN_

Why will he think you're masturbating?!

Sincerely, Armin Arlert

* * *

_FROM JEAN, TO ARMIN_

Long story.

It's best not to ask.

-Jean Kirstien

p.s. You signed your name with sincerely again, AFTER TALKING ABOUT MASTURBATION WHAT THE HELL ARMIN THIS IS NOT STUFF AQUANTANCES TALK ABOUT

* * *

_FROM ARMIN, TO JEAN_

I always sign my name that way. It just looks better.

Hey Jean, what are we going to say at dinner when Sasha asks what we talked about?

Sincerely, Armin Arlet

* * *

_FROM JEAN, TO ARMIN_

Three D Maneuver Gear

-Jean Kirstien

* * *

_FROM ARMIN, TO JEAN_

Who talks about that?!

Sincerely, Armin Arlert

* * *

_FROM JEAN, TO ARMIN_

It's you, Armin. We all know you're gay for knowledge.

-Jean Kirstien

* * *

_FROM ARMIN, TO JEAN_

You have a point. Ok, we'll say that. She can't know we're a bunch of sappy idiots.

Sincerely, Armin Arlert

* * *

_FROM JEAN, TO ARMIN_

Hey, we might be sappy but we're not idiots.

I can't write anymore, I ran out of paper. This has actually been fun. I hope I'll be around for the next Letter Writing Day so we can do it again. If I'm not, find someone cool and witty (like me) to write to. See ya at dinner, -Jean Kirstien

* * *

_FROM ARMIN, TO JEAN_

You damn well better be around for the next Letter Writing Day.

If you aren't, then I can guarantee you that I won't either. We're a team.

It's been nice, and a little gay, but mostly just nice.

It's an honor to offer up my beating heart for humanity alongside you.

Sincerely, Armin Arlert


	2. How It Started (Sasha, Erwin, and Levi)

**A/N: Here's an explanation for how it started. Yay.**

* * *

_FROM SASHA TO ERWIN_

Commander Erwin,

This letter writing idea I had is working out really well. I was wondering if it would be alright with you if I made it a sort of event or something? Like something we did a lot. I don't know it's just that…if any of us…kick off it might be nice for our friends to have some letters to read. That we wrote. You know.

I'm being horribly informal. I'm sorry. It's just that this makes me excited and nervous at the same time cause you know, people don't usually do this stuff unless they're not planning on being around for too long.

Sometimes I can't stop thinking about when I'll go. Like, _go_ go. I try to be optimistic but it's just so hard, especially after Marco. That really tore Jean up. It tore me up too, honestly, but I didn't want to make a big deal about it since we weren't really that close. It's just weird seeing someone your age die and thinking that maybe fifteen, sixteen years is all you get and then your time is up.

That got heavy fast. I don't mean to be depressing, I really don't. My thoughts look more solemn on paper than they do coming out of my mouth. I can't write worth anything to start with so I'm wondering why I'm the one to lead this letter thing.

What would you think, though? Going back to the topic at hand, that is. Would you think that's something you wouldn't mind the squad members doing? Sorry again that this letter is so long. You can write me back and leave it at my door or give it to me at meal time. No hurry!

Thank you for putting up with me,

Sasha Braus, 104th Training Graduate

* * *

_FROM ERWIN TO SASHA_

Sasha, I think it's a great idea to have the troops write letters to one another. I, however, am not the one you need approval from. I enclosed your letter to me along with this one for you to give to Corporal Levi to read over. He is the one with the final say on squad matters.

All the best, -Erwin Smith

* * *

_FROM SASHA TO LEVI_

Dear Corporal Levi,

Would you mind taking a look at my proposal to continue the letter writing day as a consistent activity? I originally sent it to Commander Erwin but he told me that your the one in charge of all the squad things. Would you mind taking a look?

Thank you in advance and I hope you have a good day,

Sasha Braus, 104th Training Graduate

* * *

_FROM LEVI TO SASHA_

That's fine.

-Levi

* * *

_FROM SASHA TO LEVI_

Thank you so much Corporal Levi! I'll start putting it into action right away!

* * *

_FROM LEVI TO SASHA_

Your enthusiasm is unnerving; too bad you aren't like that when it comes to cleaning. And speaking of "your", you used the wrong form of it in your previous letter. Tisk tisk. Better brush up that grammar before you start writing love letters.

I have work to do now. Hopefully you don't have any more questions because I don't have any more time to answer them. Have a good day.

-Levi

* * *

_FROM SASHA TO ERWIN_

Commander Erwin,

It's a go on the letters! Do you mind if I make the announcement at breakfast tomorrow? I want to get started right away.

-Sasha Braus, 104th Training Graduate

* * *

_FROM ERWIN TO SASHA_

Sasha,

I'm not surprised. Levi has always had a sentimental streak. Make sure to write his letter first.

Breakfast tomorrow is alright with me.

Before I forget, in your initial letter you mentioned your fear of death. I want you to know that it's natural for you to feel that way. It doesn't make you a coward. In fact, it makes you stronger because you are aware that it is a weakness of yours that you can fight to overcome.

You are a valuable soldier to the Survey Corps. I wasn't your commander when Marco passed away but I express my deepest condolences to you. It's unsettling and scary to see a fellow squad member go down, especially one that is so young.

I want to assure you that you are not alone. Many of my men have expressed this sense of impending doom, but it is these men, it is _you, _who will contribute to surpassing this fear and prevailing over the titans. It is my duty as a commander to assure you that your role is important and is more than an occupation. You, Sasha, are a pioneer, and I have every reason to believe that you will live to see the ocean with the rest of the 104th graduates.

Now, write your letters and share your hearts with one another, but do not think for a second that this is the last time you will speak to your friends. Instead, open yourselves up so that you may have a foundation to grow old on, and be bonded together until you pass on of old age.

-Erwin Smith

* * *

**A/N: I'm pretty much writing this for my own enjoyment but I'd still like to hear your thoughts. My main goal is to keep it in character. Other than that, it's mostly fluff, which I need after my other Levi fanfic. Anyway, see you next water time.**


	3. Don't Blush (Ymir and Krysta)

FROM YMIR, TO KRYSTA

* * *

Hey, so I wrote the letter I folded inside this one way before Sasha started the exchange thing but I didn't have the balls to send it to you. Now that I think about it, she's on to something, and why the hell not? Of everyone I know, you're the first person I thought of when she brought this up. I guess I just try to tell myself it isn't important, that how I feel about you isn't real. That's a lie though, and I know it. I've always known, but I've just opted out and preferred to live behind my emotional walls that are higher than the ones that keep the titans out. Funny…ironic. I wish I could tell you more about myself, Krysta. You deserve nothing less than the truth. I just can't do it now, though. You'll understand why, probably at an inconvenient time, but you will. Until that time comes, all I ask is that you read this letter and know that I mean every single fucking thing I say to the bottom of my heart and back.

Here it is:

Krysta

I'm not very good at poetry or love letters or shit like that, but you're special enough to me that I'm ok with looking like an idiot as long as you know how much I love you.

I don't know how to say it, but you make me smile. It's funny, making a person smile isn't difficult at all, but making a fucked up woman like me crack a grin…I don't know, it's pretty hard to do. Somehow you do it. I don't know how.

I'm bad at love, Krysta. I wish I was bad enough not to try at all, and I thought that I was, but when I met you all hell broke loose. My mind went nuts, my heart freaked the hell out and tried to pound a hole through my chest. My ribs are still tender from the first moment I laid eyes on you.

Fuck, that's creepy.. I didn't really _lay eyes on you, _I mean, I did, but that's just so creepy. I don't know how to describe it, really, it's just that I've been living all my life in third person but when you showed up…I felt like I had a chance with you by being a girl called Ymir.

Look, the thing about writing letters is that when you scratch something out the person reading it always wonders what you didn't say. Was it a spelling mistake? Or something they started to say that was so true they couldn't deal with it?

…That's why I'm not scratching over anything with you, Krysta. There's no extra ink here. I hate it, I hate throwing myself out there like this, but you're worth it.

You know, that one time that I asked you to marry me on the rooftop, that was legit. I want to marry you. Everything about you is golden; your hair, your eyes, your smile…and your lips are pink but…that's fine with me because pink is my second favourite colour and….I want to kiss you so bad.

Man, I don't know what else to say. I just want you to know that I care about you a whole hell of a lot, even more than getting a normal life back. I'm way beyond that anyway. I just want you to know that I love you. And I always will. That's all.

-Ymir

* * *

FROM KRYSTA TO YMIR

* * *

Oh Ymir, I'm gonna write you another letter after this one that I insist you not open, but I just couldn't read this without telling you that you aren't alone.

Ymir, I love you so much I can't stand it. I think about you all the time, not obsessively but more like…I think of stuff that I want to tell you and share with you and stuff that I know would make you laugh. I wish that I got to spend more time with you. Breakfast and lunch don't make up the difference, they're just drops of water in my desert of existence without you and I wonder, I always wonder, _when will I find the oasis? When will I get to be…..with you?_

I know you hate sappy stuff but I can't apologize for this, because sappiness is underrated and I feel all of the things I'm saying towards you more than I miss my family and Siberian husky.

That's all I can say, right now at least. I'm so overwhelmed that you feel something special towards me. I'm just going to leave it there. I'll write to you soon, and you better never go away

Cause

I'd miss you too much.


End file.
